Dear Kim Jong-un,
You know what Freud would say about men that brag about the size of their bombs?
Luckily for you, Freud is as antiquated as your country’s arsenal, nor did I write you to discuss the size of your penis. That would be immature, even by North Korean standards.
My reason for contacting you is simple. I feel you’re in desperate need of being liberated. It is my conviction you have come to resent the power granted to you by your father and your grandfather.
You see, unlike most people outside of North Korea I believe there is good in you. I believe there is good in everyone. In your case, proof for your goodness can be found in Kim Jong-un – The Super Secret Diary of a Young Dictator.
Yes, your diary just went up for sale on Amazon. I encourage you to read it. I promise you’ll feel reborn after reading it.
Your diary shows the world what it’s like being you.
It’s not a pretty picture.
For all your wealth and power, the one thing you want the most is the one thing you never had: A human connection.
Every time you get close to someone, disaster happens. It’s almost as if you’re cursed to live a life of solitude.
Your diary is the human connection you so desperately need.
I know you live under the assumption that blowing up little pieces of your country every few years is what you need to maintain your power. Maybe it is, but here’s the thing: You have become addicted to the power granted to you. That doesn’t mean it’s what you want.
If you’d read your diary, you’ll realize you’re as human as the rest of the world. You too are in need of love.
And what’s the one thing that goes hand in hand with love?
Freedom.
You want to be liberated.
That’s why you should read Kim Jong-un – The Super Secret Diary of a Young Diary. The ebook is currently selling for only $2.99. And trust me, by the time you’ve read it you’ll feel liberated.
Or, as you put it toward the end of your diary when you write a letter to your deceased father and grandfather:
Did you really want a country where children grow up watching public executions? Did you really want a country where people are being executed for eating other people? Did you guys know it’s common for mothers in prison to be forced to suffocate their own babies? I guess you guys knew. But is it really what you wanted? I have trouble believing that. I can’t believe anyone could be that evil. Anyone being that scared, that I can relate to.
Often I lie awake at night and wonder what it would be like not to live in fear anymore. It feels like heresy just thinking it.
Kim Jong-un, December 2014
Something tells me you might stop making bigger and better bombs if you’d just read your diary.
The question is of course if you’re willing to spend $2,99 for a bit of freedom, half of which will go to Amnesty International by the way.
Best of regards,
The person who took the liberty of writing your diary because he so happens to believe that’s what liberties are for.
