One day I was navigating the spider network and saw an advertisement about a trip to the land of dreams. It stated that anyone like me (having my mind, talents and character) can go and enjoy the journey that will be a breath taking one, where I’ll be meeting pleasant talented people, who are mature enough to treat me with the respect I deserve despite our differences. I’ll be supported with money, travel in an exquisite vehicle furnished with love, care and understanding and I’ll have access to tremendous amount of information and knowledge that will add up amazing value to my journey.
I thought that might be an extraordinary experience and went to get the ticket. When I arrived, I saw a list of terms and conditions that were not published with the advertisement. I thought that might be unsuitable for me, so I decided to ask for elaboration rather than turning my back and running away. I found at the kiosk of tickets a very beautiful lady who seemed pleasant and a man with evident dexterity. I approached to get some answers, the man decided to take the lead, he gave me some convincing answers; which my gut told me all were lies, but because I wanted to try the stunning journey, I decided to blind my eyes from his lies. I thought maybe he is lying for a good intention; maybe they wanted the company of talented people like myself so desperately to the point they had to lie to get me in, so I decided to go for the journey and took the ticket. I went home happily informing my family about it, and feeling so excited to the departure date.
When I arrived at the station, I was asked to enter the waiting room. It was full of people holding hidden anger, resentment and fear shown on their gloomy faces and occasional comments or weird actions (including the beautiful woman who seemed to be very welcoming before). I started wondering if I arrived at the wrong station, but when I saw the man who convinced me to take the ticket I thought it must be the right station, maybe I should ask him about what is happening. He calmed me with some words and asked me to be patient, as the exciting journey will start soon. I considered his advice and found a spot in the waiting room to put my luggage, read and do some sketches until the train arrives. Long time passed while I was still waiting, I felt tired and slept. He used that moment to show his fangs and taught the group of gloomy people a hard lesson for not being so welcoming. When I got up, I saw very welcoming pleasant people without having any idea about what had happened. I felt a mixture of surprise and joy, and at that moment the dexterity man seemed to me like a wise guard who wants all the travelers to be in harmony and cooperative, and because I was sleeping I couldn’t see the hidden truth. I started asking about the departure time again, and was asked again by the guard to hold more patience.
Time was passing and my first experience repeated several times until I started feeling suspicious about the advertisement and all the promising experiences I was told about. I decided to keep quiet, watch, analyze and connect the dots. What I discovered was much more dangerous and scary than what I sensed while reading the terms and conditions. Lies, abuse, hatred and corruption, all were hidden behind the mask of a decent man. I never expected to find out a lion, or maybe a unique type of monsters that can very intelligently hide all the signs, which could tell people his truth. And when the guard discovered through his spy in the waiting room I knew about it all, he gathered his people and decided it is time to confront me, either I mold in that environment and accept the fact that there was no journey at all, or I’ll be placed in the dark tunnel. I thought I cannot mold, so maybe I better leave. When I opened the front door, I saw that we had been placed at the top of a high mountain in the middle of nowhere, and when I anxiously asked: “when did this happen?!”, the guard’s assistant replied with a fake smile: “when you were sleeping princess, now you either go to the guard asking for his forgiveness and do whatever he wants, or you’ll be under the unexpected”, I angrily replied: “unexpected! What does that mean?!”, a wicked woman said: “the dark tunnel young lady, no one here dare to tell the guard no for anything he asks”. My fears tripled and I felt dizzy, but there was no way to go along with the guard, so from that exact moment I started mentally preparing myself to the tunnel, and told the wicked woman with a trembling voice: “then I choose the tunnel”.
They knew the tunnel will lead me to the light, and probably with some effort to the land of dreams I was aiming for, and because they deeply believed in my smart mind, talents and strong soul, it made them sure if I am left alone I’ll figure out my way, so being a sensitive person they decided the best way to hinder me from progressing is to put me under all types of emotional torturing. It took them few days to decide what type of pressure they can put me under while I am in the tunnel, so that I decide to stop and come back to mold. His spy worked hard to know everything possible about me. Whatever I like was placed in the hands of the most corrupted soul in the group, thinking that I’ll keep looking at her with envy and decide to imitate her to get what I actually like, and she could have. And because she came with a huge lack of self-belief, she thought by imitating me and getting what I like (even if it wasn’t something she used to care about earlier) then she will travel a long way as much as I can. They also kept listing to the things I don’t like and decided they’ll put me through to distract my focus while I am in the tunnel from my aimed destination.
Time came and I was placed in the tunnel. They made sure I can see and hear the corrupted soul lady enjoying, laughing and talking about having everything I like to have as much as she can. I felt lonely and sad, not because of what happened to me personally as much as of seeing that it is happening in real life. God knows how many kind-hearted people have been affected by the corrupted souls, and how many high quality people are suffering because of their unhealthy acts. I also strongly believe that girl is now lacking her self-respect due to the way she had to follow to acquire what she had, in addition to the self-belief deficiency that caused her so much insecurities before. And I feel sorry for the guard, who must have had a very unstable childhood; which led him to the monster he had become and he enjoys being that monster and decided to do nothing to change it. I wish for them to have kind souls and get what they really want without hurting anyone else, and respecting the boundaries and values of all humans around them. And I wish for them to recover their lost innocence because of traveling in the wrong direction, away from their true selves’ “kind loving human beings”.
Originally posted here http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-1/
