When I started my work and got more involved in social life, I was so rebellious against society rules and the way of thinking. When I saw that women are forbidden from going to particular schools under the excuse “this major is not for women”, I felt so angry and anxious at the same time. Angry because of the controlling chains the society puts against females and making decisions for them based on gender, and anxious because I started thinking that my hungry mind for solving complicated matters will never be put in use unless I keep studying, reading books and educating myself about any topic I find interesting, otherwise I will end up dying intellectually before dying physically.
And by moving forward in my career I started noticing the double standards and huge contradiction we are living in on daily basis. I started seeing ladies being put in managerial positions they don’t deserve only for being women, and others are being used as mannequins to get jobs for the company, or just to add a reputation for the organization that they are hiring and supporting women.
On the other hand, I saw women with great minds staying at home or sitting behind their desks doing nothing because of their jealous husbands or managers who fear their competition, or fear of losing power over them. Because when a woman is progressing successfully in her career and reaching high positions, she will become powerful, have more control over her life and will gain more money; which will make her more secured, independent and ready to move forward if she was mistreated or abused. And this doesn’t suit all men, especially the type of men who are starving for power and want to always be dominant.
We really need a huge shift in our standards and a better understanding of several concepts in our lives. We need more trust, more justice and to become more rational and mature in our thinking.
If a man encourages his mother, wife, sister, daughter or female employee to become better and advance in her career, this does not mean he will lose her, as long as he has rooted unconditional love in his family, and is always willing to ask the women in his life openly and kindly for his needs; without assuming that both genders speak the same language, or should understand each other needs without proper communication. It also does not mean that women in his life must be hurt, since he believes in their inner strength and at the same time he is always open and willing to listen and support whenever they feel they want to give up. And finally it does not mean a smart woman will take a man’s position as a colleague or manager, because if we are all willing to do what it takes to grow together, then there is always room for everyone.
And for women, being a working successful lady does not mean having a war against men; which will always fire-back on you. It does not mean the woman has to use her body and physical appearance to get promoted and appreciated, because as women we respect and love ourselves a lot and don’t accept to be treated as dolls. It does not also mean the female has to be single or further all men away from her life or otherwise she will not be able to succeed in her career. It does not mean the woman has to completely leave her kids and be busy all the time and miss the amazing feeling of watching them grow with love. It does not also mean that she has to burn out because of holding the full responsibility inside and outside home. We need to have more balance and establish authentic and proper communication with men in our lives, and not eliminating them to succeed, but rather to seek their help, support and understanding. And in order to do this successfully we need to keep trying kindly and gently, but with high morals and strong belief that we will succeed to have the love, happiness and success we deserve in both our personal and working lives.
Originally posted on http://en.arabwomanmag.com/women-empowerment-versus-abuse/